Joys of Double Dates
by Apple Addiction
Summary: Sasuke and Naruto were invited for a series of double dates. Sasuke doesn't think he like them very much. Mainly SasuNaru but a lot of other pairings too. Yaoi. Yuri.


**Disclaimer**: That's Sasuke, that's Naruto. Do you see them all over each other? Then no, not mine.

**Summary**: Somebody invites our favourite pair for a double date.

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**Joys of Double Dates**

_by Apple Addiction_

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"No." Sasuke deadpanned Naruto as he turned back to the dishes.

"Aw, come on Sasuke, it'll be fun!" Naruto waved his towel enthusiastically and it somehow managed to smack the Uchiha across the back of the head.

Sasuke turned to glare at him. "No, dobe. I don't do fun."

Naruto pouted as he reached for another dish. "But Sasuukeee!"

"No."

"But-"

"No."

"Sas-"

"No."

"How abou-"

"No."

"ARGH!" Naruto screamed in frustration as he threw the dish towel into the sink. "Fine, bastard, BE THAT WAY! I'll just go with Shikamaru." He stormed out the kitchen and slammed shut the kitchen door.

Sasuke's fingers twitched for a moment before resuming the action of dishwashing. "Temari won't let you."

A frustrated yell responded from the living room.

"TEME! Then I'll go alone for a threesome!"

A very pregnant pause followed that emotional declaration, leaving a blonde wishing like hell to eat back his words. Then there was a violent crash as the kitchen door flew off its hinges.

Naruto did not even have time to blink before being slammed against the coffee table. He gulped nervously as he stared at the close-up of the Sharingan.

"I'm going, dobe. And I'm taking the leash."

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"Um… Sasuke…"

The brunette chose to continue death-glaring anybody that dared to even glance their way than answering his lover. However, a flying fist soon revised his decision. He brought up a hand to block it.

"What?" He asked grudgingly, finally turned to look at the seething boy beside him.

"Teme, don't ignore me when I'm talking to you." Naruto lifted up his hand, well, their hands since they're joined and pointed at the object linking them. "What is this?"

Sasuke raised one eyebrow. "What, dobe, not enough brain cells to recognise a handcuff?"

Naruto turned away from him and took a deep breath, then took another one, then took a third one for good measure. Then he exploded.

"You bastard, I KNOW it's a handcuff, I'm asking WHAT IS IT DOING HERE?"

Sasuke cringed slightly at the volume. They were creating quite a commotion in the middle of the street. But then, he supposed the people were used to it. Then he smirked. "It's a mark of possession." He replied offhandedly.

"I'M NOT A PIECE OF FURNITURE!"

"I don't cuff myself to pieces of furniture."

Naruto huffed indignantly as he tried to counter that. "Teme, where's the key?"

Smirk. "I swallowed it." A tug on his arm told him that the blonde had stopped. He turned to look into cerulean eyes frozen in shock.

"You WHAT?"

"Swallowed it. Meaning that I put it in my mouth, give a little push and it travelled through my throat, down my oesophagus, to my-"

"Bastard, I know what swallow is! How am I supposed to EAT anything?" Naruto stared at his imprisoned right hand mournfully. Sasuke chuckled, trust the blonde to think of food only. "Well, I'll just have to feed you."

Naruto tilted his head in curiosity. "Then how are YOU going to eat anything."

Sasuke glanced at him, "I won't be needing my hands to eat."

"Huh?" The confused look directed at Sasuke made him want to drag the blonde into a nice, dark alley and do something… naughty.

Voice lowering to a seductive whisper, Sasuke closed the distance between their bodies. "I'll be eating _off_ you… dobe."

Naruto shrank back from him in mortification. "We're in public, you idiot. Stop trying to arouse me."

"Well, if that's such a problem, we can always make a U-turn and conti-"

"No."

Sasuke sighed but backed off.

The restaurant soon came into sight. Sasuke could vaguely make out two figures standing in front of it. One of them was waving his arms at them enthusiastically.

Kakashi and Iruka.

Sasuke suddenly got a very violent attack of cold feet.

_TBC_

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**A/N:** Review and make my day! 


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